1 00:00:09,482 --> 00:00:10,724 - Aha! - [grunts] 2 00:00:10,793 --> 00:00:12,034 - Aha. 3 00:00:12,103 --> 00:00:14,344 - You better start talking. - You missed me! 4 00:00:14,413 --> 00:00:16,000 I'm gonna dodge every blow. 5 00:00:16,068 --> 00:00:17,965 - [grunting] 6 00:00:18,034 --> 00:00:19,103 Tell me. 7 00:00:19,172 --> 00:00:21,724 - [laughing] 8 00:00:21,793 --> 00:00:24,724 [exciting music] 9 00:00:24,793 --> 00:00:26,827 ♪ ♪ 10 00:00:26,896 --> 00:00:28,034 Huh? 11 00:00:28,103 --> 00:00:29,275 - Tell me where that demon is, 12 00:00:29,344 --> 00:00:30,793 or I'll slice you in half. 13 00:00:30,862 --> 00:00:32,931 - Demons? I don't know any demons. 14 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,310 - I know you helped him. 15 00:00:34,379 --> 00:00:37,172 Your foul slime was all over the doorknob to his cave. 16 00:00:37,241 --> 00:00:38,793 - I ain't no snitch. 17 00:00:38,862 --> 00:00:41,448 Eh, who puts a door on a cave, anyway? 18 00:00:41,517 --> 00:00:43,551 - Tell me where that demon is, 19 00:00:43,620 --> 00:00:46,344 or I'll get to see what you had for breakfast. 20 00:00:46,413 --> 00:00:48,448 - I had a sunrise scramble on toast points. 21 00:00:48,517 --> 00:00:49,965 [mystical whooshing] 22 00:00:50,034 --> 00:00:51,172 - Brendar. 23 00:00:51,241 --> 00:00:53,758 Unhand that serpent at once. 24 00:00:53,827 --> 00:00:55,413 - Really? Now? 25 00:00:55,482 --> 00:00:57,000 I was just at my big finish. 26 00:00:57,068 --> 00:00:59,758 - I didn't appear in a magical vision 27 00:00:59,827 --> 00:01:01,413 to argue with you. 28 00:01:01,482 --> 00:01:03,172 - [sighs] But Queen Shimmerian, 29 00:01:03,241 --> 00:01:04,793 I spent, like, three days 30 00:01:04,862 --> 00:01:06,689 tracking this serpent to his lair. 31 00:01:06,758 --> 00:01:09,034 - [chuckles] - That was three days 32 00:01:09,103 --> 00:01:12,655 you should have spent maintaining the Royal Order. 33 00:01:12,724 --> 00:01:14,172 - Ugh. 34 00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:16,379 - You keep going on these pointless quests. 35 00:01:16,448 --> 00:01:17,793 - They aren't pointless. 36 00:01:17,862 --> 00:01:18,965 - Yeah, except they are. 37 00:01:19,034 --> 00:01:21,482 - [grunting] - Ow, ow. Ow, ow, ah! 38 00:01:21,551 --> 00:01:22,896 - What's the princess-warrior's 39 00:01:22,965 --> 00:01:26,448 most important job in her life? 40 00:01:26,517 --> 00:01:28,241 - To smile while cutting ribbons 41 00:01:28,310 --> 00:01:29,793 at solstice festivals. 42 00:01:29,862 --> 00:01:30,655 - Exactly. 43 00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:32,620 - Oh, wow, that's essential. 44 00:01:32,689 --> 00:01:34,551 - [scoffs] If all we're meant to be is ribbon cutters, 45 00:01:34,620 --> 00:01:36,655 why do you train us to be warriors? 46 00:01:36,724 --> 00:01:39,482 - To make you strong so you can be self-sufficient 47 00:01:39,551 --> 00:01:41,896 yet completely dependent at the same time. 48 00:01:41,965 --> 00:01:44,482 - But Queen, the demon Alvin killed my mother 49 00:01:44,551 --> 00:01:46,344 and took my brother Kendar. 50 00:01:46,413 --> 00:01:48,241 He's the only family I have left. 51 00:01:48,310 --> 00:01:50,517 - Wow. That's a lot of exposition. 52 00:01:50,586 --> 00:01:52,034 - We should be your family. 53 00:01:52,103 --> 00:01:54,586 And I've had enough of your shenanigans. 54 00:01:54,655 --> 00:01:57,344 - How did you find out about my shenanigans? 55 00:01:57,413 --> 00:02:00,689 - I see all! 56 00:02:00,758 --> 00:02:02,448 And someone ratted you out. 57 00:02:02,517 --> 00:02:04,068 - It was I. - [gasps] 58 00:02:04,137 --> 00:02:06,103 [both chuckle] - Hey, gossip girls. 59 00:02:06,172 --> 00:02:08,551 Wanna know what it really feels like to be stabbed 60 00:02:08,620 --> 00:02:10,103 in the back? - Ow! Ow-ow! 61 00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:11,413 - Oh, you're fine. 62 00:02:11,482 --> 00:02:14,310 - You've had so many "secret quests" 63 00:02:14,379 --> 00:02:17,241 that the people of Gothmoria have given you a slogan. 64 00:02:17,310 --> 00:02:18,482 - Ooh, what it is? 65 00:02:18,551 --> 00:02:20,448 Over five billion severed? 66 00:02:20,517 --> 00:02:22,482 - You are known to be feared 67 00:02:22,551 --> 00:02:24,931 and revered throughout the land. 68 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:26,068 - Oh, it rhymes. 69 00:02:26,137 --> 00:02:27,413 - You're a loose cannon, Brendar. 70 00:02:27,482 --> 00:02:29,620 Therefore, I'm taking your sword... 71 00:02:29,689 --> 00:02:30,758 - [gasps] - Sparkly tunic... 72 00:02:30,827 --> 00:02:32,034 - [gasps] - And your sensible 73 00:02:32,103 --> 00:02:33,413 soled footwear. 74 00:02:33,482 --> 00:02:34,965 - No! - Yes. 75 00:02:35,034 --> 00:02:36,724 I'm demoting you back down to... 76 00:02:36,793 --> 00:02:39,241 - Moat duty? - Worse. 77 00:02:39,310 --> 00:02:40,620 Barbarian. 78 00:02:40,689 --> 00:02:42,931 - But then how will I be able to rescue my brother? 79 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:47,655 - May Brendar be an example to every warrior-princess: 80 00:02:47,724 --> 00:02:51,068 disobey your queen, you'll be shunned 81 00:02:51,137 --> 00:02:53,310 and cut from the family. 82 00:02:53,379 --> 00:02:55,000 Like a ribbon. 83 00:02:55,068 --> 00:02:56,344 [both chuckle] 84 00:02:56,413 --> 00:03:00,103 [magical whooshing] 85 00:03:00,172 --> 00:03:02,206 - [sighs] 86 00:03:02,275 --> 00:03:04,965 Hey. She forgot to take my sword. 87 00:03:06,206 --> 00:03:08,000 - Yoink. - [gasps] 88 00:03:08,068 --> 00:03:09,344 [sighs] 89 00:03:09,413 --> 00:03:10,689 She kicked me out of the Order. 90 00:03:10,758 --> 00:03:13,379 She took my boots and my sword. 91 00:03:13,448 --> 00:03:15,137 I loved that sword. 92 00:03:15,206 --> 00:03:17,310 - [laughing] 93 00:03:17,379 --> 00:03:19,000 So how do you think you're gonna 94 00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:21,172 slice me in half now, barbarian? 95 00:03:21,241 --> 00:03:22,517 - I'll show you. 96 00:03:22,586 --> 00:03:24,620 [grunts] - Wha? 97 00:03:24,689 --> 00:03:26,517 What's happening? 98 00:03:26,586 --> 00:03:28,206 That's not good. 99 00:03:28,275 --> 00:03:29,793 [triumphant rock music] 100 00:03:29,862 --> 00:03:31,620 - Uh, okay, hold on, wait, wait, wait-- 101 00:03:31,689 --> 00:03:34,724 - [grunting] - Ow! Oof! Uh! Yow! 102 00:03:34,793 --> 00:03:36,482 - I'll ask you again. - Ow! 103 00:03:36,551 --> 00:03:38,172 - Where is the demon Alvin? 104 00:03:38,241 --> 00:03:39,758 - All right, fine. 105 00:03:39,827 --> 00:03:43,448 Last I saw, he was headed to the jungles of Ganthor. 106 00:03:43,517 --> 00:03:45,586 But you'll never defeat him; he's too strong. 107 00:03:45,655 --> 00:03:47,310 - I'm pretty strong too. 108 00:03:47,379 --> 00:03:48,586 - Huh? 109 00:03:48,655 --> 00:03:50,000 - [grunts] - No, no, no, no, no, no! 110 00:03:50,068 --> 00:03:51,896 Yee-ouch! 111 00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:58,689 ♪ ♪ 112 00:04:00,689 --> 00:04:01,758 Eh, I'm okay. 113 00:04:01,827 --> 00:04:05,275 - Brendar the Barbarian, huh? 114 00:04:05,344 --> 00:04:08,517 That has a nice ring to it. 115 00:04:08,586 --> 00:04:10,758 - ♪ Whoa-oh-oh-oh ♪ 116 00:04:10,827 --> 00:04:13,655 ♪ The Barbarian and the Troll ♪ 117 00:04:15,620 --> 00:04:17,172 - "On another personal quest 118 00:04:17,241 --> 00:04:20,172 "to amend her complicated and mysterious backstory, 119 00:04:20,241 --> 00:04:23,172 "Brendar the Barbarian defeated a large serpent 120 00:04:23,241 --> 00:04:24,758 with her bare hands?" 121 00:04:24,827 --> 00:04:26,103 - Hey, can you check the sports page? 122 00:04:26,172 --> 00:04:28,793 I wanna see who won in the Giants versus the Bears. 123 00:04:28,862 --> 00:04:30,413 - The Giants crushed the Bears. 124 00:04:30,482 --> 00:04:31,655 - Aw, come on! 125 00:04:31,724 --> 00:04:34,137 That's a sack of coin I'll never see again. 126 00:04:34,206 --> 00:04:37,931 - Don't you cross my bridge without paying a toll! 127 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:41,655 Surrender your silver or surrender your life! 128 00:04:41,724 --> 00:04:45,000 - Show yourself, mighty tollbooth operator. 129 00:04:46,862 --> 00:04:50,241 - Um, technically, I'm a troll-booth operator. 130 00:04:50,310 --> 00:04:53,620 Uh, either way, I've gotta collect a silver piece. 131 00:04:53,689 --> 00:04:55,206 - Aw, come on, mister. 132 00:04:55,275 --> 00:04:56,724 My ol' goat has a bum hip, 133 00:04:56,793 --> 00:04:58,965 so we can't wade through the stream like we used to. 134 00:04:59,034 --> 00:05:00,482 - Body-shaming your goat's not gonna help. 135 00:05:00,551 --> 00:05:01,896 I gotta collect a toll. 136 00:05:01,965 --> 00:05:03,724 Troll king's rules, not mine. 137 00:05:03,793 --> 00:05:05,827 - Let me at him! Let me at him! - [grunting] 138 00:05:05,896 --> 00:05:07,724 - Get ready to butt heads, butthead! 139 00:05:07,793 --> 00:05:08,827 - Uh-oh. - [laughs] 140 00:05:08,896 --> 00:05:10,241 You made Helen mad, 141 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,241 and you don't wanna deal with a cranky goat. 142 00:05:12,310 --> 00:05:14,103 - Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 143 00:05:14,172 --> 00:05:15,413 No need for violence. 144 00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:16,862 All right, I'll make you a deal. 145 00:05:16,931 --> 00:05:18,413 Um. Ooh. 146 00:05:18,482 --> 00:05:19,758 I'll play you a song, 147 00:05:19,827 --> 00:05:20,793 and then if you leave a donation, 148 00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:23,275 I'll consider the toll paid. 149 00:05:23,344 --> 00:05:24,517 - Well. - Eh. 150 00:05:24,586 --> 00:05:25,965 - Guess so. - Ooh. 151 00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:28,448 [smacks lips] Here goes. 152 00:05:28,517 --> 00:05:32,344 ♪ Bridge life, bridge life ♪ 153 00:05:32,413 --> 00:05:34,275 ♪ No one will pay me ♪ 154 00:05:34,344 --> 00:05:37,896 ♪ No one will save me from damp pants ♪ 155 00:05:37,965 --> 00:05:40,517 ♪ Or flesh-eating ants ♪ 156 00:05:40,586 --> 00:05:42,103 ♪ No one's afraid of me ♪ 157 00:05:42,172 --> 00:05:44,448 ♪ My father's ashamed of me ♪ 158 00:05:44,517 --> 00:05:48,310 ♪ Bridge life, bridge life ♪ 159 00:05:48,379 --> 00:05:50,413 ♪ Bridge life ♪ 160 00:05:50,482 --> 00:05:53,034 ♪ Bridge life ♪ 161 00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:55,068 ♪ Ee-ba-be-ba-dee-ba-dee bridge ♪ 162 00:05:55,137 --> 00:05:56,896 ♪ Wa-dee-der-dee-dee-ber-dee life ♪ 163 00:05:56,965 --> 00:06:00,448 ♪ Once upon a time in a land far away ♪ 164 00:06:00,517 --> 00:06:01,827 ♪ I don't know what happened ♪ 165 00:06:01,896 --> 00:06:03,862 ♪ 'Cause I'm under a bridge all day ♪ 166 00:06:03,931 --> 00:06:07,448 ♪ Bridge life, bridge life ♪ 167 00:06:07,517 --> 00:06:09,172 ♪ Bridge life ♪ 168 00:06:09,241 --> 00:06:10,931 ♪ Smidge life ♪ 169 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:12,793 Yeah! [chuckles] 170 00:06:14,724 --> 00:06:16,931 - That was just awful. - [groans] 171 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,586 - Yeah, I feel like you owe me money now. 172 00:06:19,655 --> 00:06:21,724 - [sighs] That was my best song. 173 00:06:21,793 --> 00:06:22,862 - Well, now we know the problem. 174 00:06:22,931 --> 00:06:24,724 - Your songs are super boring. 175 00:06:24,793 --> 00:06:26,724 - Yeah, you need to get out there. 176 00:06:26,793 --> 00:06:29,172 - Get you some life experience. 177 00:06:29,241 --> 00:06:30,758 - All right. 178 00:06:30,827 --> 00:06:33,517 That review was both hurtful and constructive, 179 00:06:33,586 --> 00:06:34,586 but you know what? 180 00:06:34,655 --> 00:06:36,689 Reviews don't count as payment. 181 00:06:36,758 --> 00:06:38,379 [machinery whirring] 182 00:06:38,448 --> 00:06:41,931 [grunting] 183 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,275 Ah. 184 00:06:43,344 --> 00:06:44,551 [clears throat] 185 00:06:44,620 --> 00:06:47,000 By the power vested in me by the Troll King, 186 00:06:47,068 --> 00:06:50,310 Your bridge access is denied. 187 00:06:50,379 --> 00:06:51,620 - Ah! 188 00:06:51,689 --> 00:06:53,172 You know what to do, Helen. 189 00:06:53,241 --> 00:06:55,758 Head down, aim for the doughy midsection. 190 00:06:55,827 --> 00:06:57,379 [dramatic music] 191 00:06:57,448 --> 00:07:00,620 - [stammering] 192 00:07:00,689 --> 00:07:01,620 [Helen bleats] 193 00:07:01,689 --> 00:07:03,448 - [yelling] 194 00:07:03,517 --> 00:07:06,655 [grunting] 195 00:07:07,931 --> 00:07:10,310 - You should get out and see the world. 196 00:07:10,379 --> 00:07:12,206 Might help your songs. 197 00:07:12,275 --> 00:07:15,517 - Hit up my goat yoga class and tighten that core. 198 00:07:15,586 --> 00:07:18,344 Honestly, it was like headbutting a bag of pudding. 199 00:07:18,413 --> 00:07:20,172 [tense music] 200 00:07:20,241 --> 00:07:21,379 - [sighs] 201 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:28,172 - [playing mournful tune] 202 00:07:28,241 --> 00:07:29,448 ♪ This bridge ♪ 203 00:07:29,517 --> 00:07:32,965 ♪ Has left a stain upon my soul ♪ 204 00:07:33,034 --> 00:07:35,862 ♪ How could you ever understand ♪ 205 00:07:35,931 --> 00:07:39,655 ♪ The pain of a troll? ♪ 206 00:07:40,689 --> 00:07:42,724 Oh, yeah, now I hear it. 207 00:07:42,793 --> 00:07:44,413 That little girl and her goat were right. 208 00:07:44,482 --> 00:07:46,931 My lyrics are so limited. 209 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,793 I gotta get out from under this bridge. 210 00:07:48,862 --> 00:07:50,620 I gotta put myself out there. 211 00:07:50,689 --> 00:07:52,103 - I heard you got your butt kicked. 212 00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:53,137 - Wha? 213 00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:54,275 [grunts] 214 00:07:54,344 --> 00:07:55,448 [dramatic music] 215 00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:57,724 Ah! Your Majesty. 216 00:07:57,793 --> 00:07:59,655 - A troll doesn't let anyone cross 217 00:07:59,724 --> 00:08:01,379 without collecting a toll. 218 00:08:01,448 --> 00:08:04,241 No matter what. It's our thing. 219 00:08:04,310 --> 00:08:06,931 - But Dad, it was two against one! 220 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:10,310 - A preteen and a goat named Helen? 221 00:08:10,379 --> 00:08:11,862 - Wha? 222 00:08:11,931 --> 00:08:13,172 Whoa, that was fast. 223 00:08:13,241 --> 00:08:15,482 - This bridge belonged to your grandfather. 224 00:08:15,551 --> 00:08:17,068 He used to terrify villagers 225 00:08:17,137 --> 00:08:18,758 throughout Gothmoria. - Here we go. 226 00:08:18,827 --> 00:08:21,034 - Mounted knights would poop their armor 227 00:08:21,103 --> 00:08:22,655 just to try to avoid crossing here. 228 00:08:22,724 --> 00:08:24,103 - Yeah, how would that help? 229 00:08:24,172 --> 00:08:27,413 - And now you've turned it into a lute lounge! 230 00:08:27,482 --> 00:08:29,724 - Yeah. Sorry, Dad. 231 00:08:29,793 --> 00:08:31,448 [somber music] 232 00:08:31,517 --> 00:08:34,000 - [sighs] 233 00:08:34,068 --> 00:08:36,103 [grunts] 234 00:08:36,172 --> 00:08:39,241 I guess I was too overprotective as a father. 235 00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:40,931 Maybe I should've let your mother eat you 236 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:42,413 when you were a baby. 237 00:08:42,482 --> 00:08:44,137 - Well, she still tries to eat me all the time. 238 00:08:44,206 --> 00:08:46,068 - That's a troll mother's prerogative, son. 239 00:08:46,137 --> 00:08:47,482 - Yeah, but she keeps giving me 240 00:08:47,551 --> 00:08:49,758 flagons of barbecue sauce marked "body splash" 241 00:08:49,827 --> 00:08:50,724 for my birthdays. 242 00:08:50,793 --> 00:08:52,689 - Yeah. 243 00:08:52,758 --> 00:08:55,379 - So Dad, can I ask you a question? 244 00:08:55,448 --> 00:08:56,689 - Here we go. 245 00:08:56,758 --> 00:08:58,965 - What if my future were more about music 246 00:08:59,034 --> 00:09:02,517 and less--mm--bridge-oriented? 247 00:09:02,586 --> 00:09:04,965 - Less bridge-oriented?! 248 00:09:05,034 --> 00:09:06,689 You're a troll prince! 249 00:09:06,758 --> 00:09:08,586 This bridge is your blood! 250 00:09:08,655 --> 00:09:10,655 - It's your blood, not mine! 251 00:09:10,724 --> 00:09:12,344 I need to put myself out there, 252 00:09:12,413 --> 00:09:14,103 maybe go on a journey or something. 253 00:09:14,172 --> 00:09:16,310 - [laughing] Unbelievable. 254 00:09:16,379 --> 00:09:18,862 You really think you're gonna get somewhere in life 255 00:09:18,931 --> 00:09:21,034 plucking that little lute of yours? 256 00:09:21,103 --> 00:09:23,448 - [scoffs] Jesters pluck, Dad. 257 00:09:23,517 --> 00:09:25,413 I strum! - Ha! 258 00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:26,862 - And if you ever listened, 259 00:09:26,931 --> 00:09:28,896 you'd probably give me a very positive review, 260 00:09:28,965 --> 00:09:30,827 but you never listen! 261 00:09:30,896 --> 00:09:33,620 - I'm a king! I don't listen to no one! 262 00:09:33,689 --> 00:09:35,068 Look, you were born 263 00:09:35,137 --> 00:09:37,448 a Royal Keeper of the Bridges of Gothmoria. 264 00:09:37,517 --> 00:09:42,413 - Oh, for the last time, I am a music guy! 265 00:09:42,482 --> 00:09:44,724 I am not a bridge guy. 266 00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:47,137 But if you can't see that, 267 00:09:47,206 --> 00:09:49,448 [voice breaking] well, then maybe I should go. 268 00:09:49,517 --> 00:09:50,827 - Don't do this, Evan. 269 00:09:50,896 --> 00:09:53,896 Don't throw it all away for dreams and feelings! 270 00:09:53,965 --> 00:09:56,655 If you leave this bridge now, young man, 271 00:09:56,724 --> 00:09:58,551 don't expect to come back. 272 00:09:58,620 --> 00:09:59,793 Ever. 273 00:09:59,862 --> 00:10:02,827 - [gasps] Yes, Your Majesty! 274 00:10:02,896 --> 00:10:06,000 [sobbing] 275 00:10:08,344 --> 00:10:10,620 - You literally just burned a bridge. 276 00:10:10,689 --> 00:10:14,103 [flames crackling] 277 00:10:14,172 --> 00:10:16,517 What's this place made of, anyway? 278 00:10:16,586 --> 00:10:18,137 Matchsticks? 279 00:10:18,206 --> 00:10:21,275 [unsettling string music] 280 00:10:21,344 --> 00:10:28,379 ♪ ♪ 281 00:10:28,620 --> 00:10:30,379 [indistinct chatter] 282 00:10:30,448 --> 00:10:32,586 - Still good on that flagon? - Oh, yes, sir. 283 00:10:32,655 --> 00:10:34,068 - All right, I'll bring your check in a jiff. 284 00:10:34,137 --> 00:10:35,034 - Sure. 285 00:10:36,241 --> 00:10:38,517 - [sighs] What can I get you? 286 00:10:38,586 --> 00:10:41,034 - Gee, I don't know. 287 00:10:41,103 --> 00:10:43,827 I just got kicked out of the Royal Order, 288 00:10:43,896 --> 00:10:45,862 lost my favorite sword, 289 00:10:45,931 --> 00:10:49,482 had to fight a band of goblins for a new one, 290 00:10:49,551 --> 00:10:51,758 haven't slept in four nights, 291 00:10:51,827 --> 00:10:54,000 and I don't like a lot of sauces! 292 00:10:54,068 --> 00:10:56,034 What do you recommend? 293 00:10:56,103 --> 00:10:58,275 - Well, the chicken's not that spoiled. 294 00:10:58,344 --> 00:11:00,931 - [sighs] I'll have that. 295 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:02,965 - One Attila the Hen, dry! 296 00:11:03,034 --> 00:11:05,862 - Order up! One chinchilla muffin, fried! 297 00:11:05,931 --> 00:11:08,413 [curious music] 298 00:11:08,482 --> 00:11:09,655 - Ugh. 299 00:11:09,724 --> 00:11:10,965 Hey, Kyle. 300 00:11:11,034 --> 00:11:12,517 You didn't return any of my carrier pigeons. 301 00:11:12,586 --> 00:11:13,758 - I've been busy. 302 00:11:13,827 --> 00:11:15,275 Cooking the carrier pigeons. - What? 303 00:11:15,344 --> 00:11:16,827 - They were yesterday's specials. 304 00:11:16,896 --> 00:11:18,344 - Oh. Uh, okay. 305 00:11:18,413 --> 00:11:19,586 Well, have you given any more thought 306 00:11:19,655 --> 00:11:21,206 to me performing here? 307 00:11:21,275 --> 00:11:22,620 - Oh, look, kid. 308 00:11:22,689 --> 00:11:24,000 This just isn't the place 309 00:11:24,068 --> 00:11:25,827 for you to be playing your peppy little songs, okay? 310 00:11:25,896 --> 00:11:27,241 So move along. 311 00:11:27,310 --> 00:11:28,413 - Well, hold on. 312 00:11:28,482 --> 00:11:29,724 Not all my songs are peppy! 313 00:11:29,793 --> 00:11:32,000 I got a bunch that are really depressing. 314 00:11:32,068 --> 00:11:34,137 - [sighs] Look. 315 00:11:34,206 --> 00:11:36,241 Do not do this, okay? 316 00:11:36,310 --> 00:11:38,034 This crowd will eat you alive. 317 00:11:38,103 --> 00:11:39,379 Literally. [patron coughing] 318 00:11:39,448 --> 00:11:40,896 So why don't you go back to your bridge, okay, buddy? 319 00:11:40,965 --> 00:11:43,379 - I'm between bridges right now. 320 00:11:43,448 --> 00:11:45,448 I--I'm trying to put myself out there 321 00:11:45,517 --> 00:11:47,068 and find my destiny. 322 00:11:47,137 --> 00:11:49,413 Please, Kyle, you're the only guy I know 323 00:11:49,482 --> 00:11:50,862 who can help me. 324 00:11:50,931 --> 00:11:52,896 - [sighs] 325 00:11:52,965 --> 00:11:55,724 You're just not gonna back down, are you? 326 00:11:55,793 --> 00:11:57,896 - Sign me up. 327 00:12:00,586 --> 00:12:02,586 - All right, okay. 328 00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:03,931 All right, quiet down. 329 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,034 Quiet--shut up! 330 00:12:06,103 --> 00:12:09,344 Welcome to our first-- and likely last-- 331 00:12:09,413 --> 00:12:12,827 open horn night of music and singing 332 00:12:12,896 --> 00:12:15,068 right here at the Queen's Goiter. 333 00:12:15,137 --> 00:12:17,827 So go easy on this guy. He's a good kid. 334 00:12:17,896 --> 00:12:20,379 - Yeah, good with a side of fried onions! 335 00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:22,620 [laughter] 336 00:12:22,689 --> 00:12:25,448 - I don't know, he probably tastes terrible. 337 00:12:25,517 --> 00:12:27,344 But apparently he's good with a lute. 338 00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:30,827 All right, give it up for Evan, the musical troll of Gothmoria. 339 00:12:30,896 --> 00:12:32,655 [jeers and scattered applause] 340 00:12:32,724 --> 00:12:35,586 - Hey, thanks for coming out to support the arts, you guys. 341 00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:37,137 I am Evan. 342 00:12:37,206 --> 00:12:40,206 Um, about me, uh, I have been kicked around by life. 343 00:12:40,275 --> 00:12:42,724 Most recently by a little girl and her nanny goat 344 00:12:42,793 --> 00:12:45,310 who didn't want to pay a toll to cross my bridge. 345 00:12:45,379 --> 00:12:46,655 - Boring! 346 00:12:46,724 --> 00:12:49,344 - In fact, no one really pays the toll lately. 347 00:12:49,413 --> 00:12:51,827 People just ignore me and walk across. 348 00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:53,413 I almost gave up. 349 00:12:53,482 --> 00:12:55,103 - [belches] 350 00:12:55,172 --> 00:12:57,103 - Oh, like that guy. [chuckles] 351 00:12:57,172 --> 00:12:58,931 But I didn't give up. 352 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:00,482 Instead, I wrote a song 353 00:13:00,551 --> 00:13:02,896 about fresh starts and new beginnings. 354 00:13:02,965 --> 00:13:05,965 Goes a little something like this. 355 00:13:06,034 --> 00:13:08,551 [playing uplifting music] 356 00:13:08,620 --> 00:13:10,241 ♪ That feeling when you can't sleep ♪ 357 00:13:10,310 --> 00:13:11,931 ♪ 'Cause your bridge keeps crumbling ♪ 358 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,172 ♪ Chunks onto your head ♪ 359 00:13:14,241 --> 00:13:15,931 ♪ That feeling when you wanna weep ♪ 360 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,310 ♪ When you think of collecting ♪ 361 00:13:17,379 --> 00:13:19,862 ♪ That same old toll again ♪ 362 00:13:19,931 --> 00:13:23,034 ♪ I got 99 problems, but a bridge ain't one ♪ 363 00:13:23,103 --> 00:13:24,482 ♪ I burned mine down ♪ 364 00:13:24,551 --> 00:13:27,965 ♪ Someday, I'll see the sun ♪ 365 00:13:28,034 --> 00:13:30,068 ♪ That feeling when your journey ♪ 366 00:13:30,137 --> 00:13:32,724 ♪ Is just begun ♪ 367 00:13:32,793 --> 00:13:34,551 [lively music] 368 00:13:34,620 --> 00:13:36,896 ♪ I heard a journey starts when you go somewhere ♪ 369 00:13:36,965 --> 00:13:38,793 ♪ I need a journey ♪ 370 00:13:38,862 --> 00:13:40,275 ♪ A journey ♪ 371 00:13:40,344 --> 00:13:42,620 ♪ I feel it in my warts, and I'm so prepared ♪ 372 00:13:42,689 --> 00:13:44,068 ♪ I need a journey ♪ 373 00:13:44,137 --> 00:13:45,413 ♪ A journey ♪ 374 00:13:45,482 --> 00:13:47,034 ♪ All you goblins and you thieves ♪ 375 00:13:47,103 --> 00:13:48,655 ♪ Are you feeling me now? ♪ 376 00:13:48,724 --> 00:13:49,931 No, don't literally feel me. 377 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,137 ♪ Wait, please allow me ♪ 378 00:13:51,206 --> 00:13:52,758 ♪ To rephrase somehow ♪ 379 00:13:52,827 --> 00:13:53,931 Oh, that was really awkward. 380 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,172 ♪ Gonna keep on rocking it out ♪ 381 00:13:55,241 --> 00:13:57,034 ♪ I need a journey ♪ 382 00:13:57,103 --> 00:13:58,551 ♪ A journey ♪ 383 00:13:58,620 --> 00:14:00,206 ♪ A journey! ♪ 384 00:14:00,275 --> 00:14:02,241 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! ♪ 385 00:14:02,310 --> 00:14:04,344 Mm! Mm! Big finish! 386 00:14:04,413 --> 00:14:05,551 Yeah! 387 00:14:05,620 --> 00:14:07,448 Whoo! [laughs] 388 00:14:07,517 --> 00:14:09,482 [crowd booing] - Who wrote this song? 389 00:14:09,551 --> 00:14:11,000 - Do you guys want to hear that again? 390 00:14:12,689 --> 00:14:14,965 [crowd gasping] 391 00:14:15,034 --> 00:14:17,896 [foreboding music] 392 00:14:17,965 --> 00:14:25,034 ♪ ♪ 393 00:14:34,896 --> 00:14:37,413 - I have a message for you. 394 00:14:41,758 --> 00:14:43,241 - Sup? 395 00:14:43,310 --> 00:14:45,000 - I ordered the chicken. 396 00:14:48,206 --> 00:14:49,034 - You're the warrior woman 397 00:14:49,103 --> 00:14:50,310 everyone calls Brendar, right? 398 00:14:50,379 --> 00:14:52,103 Feared and revered is your slogan? 399 00:14:52,172 --> 00:14:54,482 - Get lost, owl. You smell like dead mice. 400 00:14:54,551 --> 00:14:56,931 - [whispering] They said you'd be intense. 401 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,793 We wanna hire you for a quest. 402 00:14:58,862 --> 00:15:01,310 - I quest alone. Now flap off. 403 00:15:01,379 --> 00:15:03,931 Take Skeletor's smiley band and Yorick with you. 404 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:05,758 - Oi. How'd she know my name? 405 00:15:05,827 --> 00:15:06,896 - Not now, Yorry. 406 00:15:06,965 --> 00:15:08,275 Listen, this adventure 407 00:15:08,344 --> 00:15:10,103 includes everything you're good at. 408 00:15:10,172 --> 00:15:12,172 Smashing, pillaging. 409 00:15:12,241 --> 00:15:14,482 General mayhem. - I know who sent you. 410 00:15:14,551 --> 00:15:15,931 - Who? 411 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,000 - Are you asking me, or are you making an owl sound? 412 00:15:18,068 --> 00:15:19,482 - This is an owl sound. 413 00:15:19,551 --> 00:15:20,827 Who. Who. 414 00:15:20,896 --> 00:15:22,655 - [sighs] Your team has all the trademarks 415 00:15:22,724 --> 00:15:25,241 of that hacky has-been, the wizard Horus Scrum. 416 00:15:25,310 --> 00:15:28,793 [patrons whispering] 417 00:15:28,862 --> 00:15:30,137 - Uh. - Wha? 418 00:15:30,206 --> 00:15:32,241 - [groans] - If I were to quest, 419 00:15:32,310 --> 00:15:33,551 it wouldn't be with a wizard 420 00:15:33,620 --> 00:15:35,724 known for card tricks and fortune-telling. 421 00:15:35,793 --> 00:15:37,000 - Oh, come on. 422 00:15:37,068 --> 00:15:38,586 We could offer you a generous salary, 423 00:15:38,655 --> 00:15:41,275 plus a pretty darn good dental plan. 424 00:15:41,344 --> 00:15:43,241 - Are they on the same dental plan? 425 00:15:45,310 --> 00:15:46,965 - Yes. - Hard pass. 426 00:15:47,034 --> 00:15:48,206 - Ah! 427 00:15:48,275 --> 00:15:51,103 We have traversed the Black Forest of Hate 428 00:15:51,172 --> 00:15:53,758 and the Gray Swamps of Insecurity 429 00:15:53,827 --> 00:15:55,275 to find you. 430 00:15:55,344 --> 00:15:59,068 We will not be dismissed so easily. 431 00:15:59,137 --> 00:16:01,103 [dramatic music] 432 00:16:01,172 --> 00:16:02,551 [patrons gasp] 433 00:16:05,344 --> 00:16:08,034 - When respect is lacking, 434 00:16:08,103 --> 00:16:11,379 my sword starts hacking. 435 00:16:11,448 --> 00:16:13,551 [grunts] 436 00:16:13,620 --> 00:16:15,448 [heroic music] 437 00:16:15,517 --> 00:16:16,655 - Ah. 438 00:16:19,206 --> 00:16:21,034 - Hot cauldron. 439 00:16:21,103 --> 00:16:22,827 - Hey. Look out, guys. 440 00:16:22,896 --> 00:16:24,241 She's got a knife. 441 00:16:24,310 --> 00:16:26,482 - If you want to keep your head bone 442 00:16:26,551 --> 00:16:28,793 connected to your neck bone, 443 00:16:28,862 --> 00:16:31,931 I suggest you apologize to this jester 444 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,551 for interrupting his foolish music. 445 00:16:34,620 --> 00:16:37,793 - I have battled the Quivering Serpent of Pune! 446 00:16:37,862 --> 00:16:39,551 Your threats mean nothing! 447 00:16:39,620 --> 00:16:42,413 - Was that the Elder serpent or her offspring? 448 00:16:42,482 --> 00:16:45,482 - Uh, well, it was quivering a lot. 449 00:16:45,551 --> 00:16:47,344 I don't know. It was very large! 450 00:16:47,413 --> 00:16:49,103 - And wearing a diaper? 451 00:16:49,172 --> 00:16:50,448 - Yes? 452 00:16:50,517 --> 00:16:52,482 - That was the baby. - Ah! 453 00:16:52,551 --> 00:16:54,689 - Who I left alive to send a message. 454 00:16:54,758 --> 00:16:56,034 - Enough! 455 00:16:56,103 --> 00:16:57,620 - Droppings just got real. 456 00:16:57,689 --> 00:16:58,793 - Get her! 457 00:16:58,862 --> 00:17:00,896 Go! Go! 458 00:17:00,965 --> 00:17:07,862 ♪ ♪ 459 00:17:20,551 --> 00:17:21,620 - Huh? 460 00:17:21,689 --> 00:17:24,000 - Ha! 461 00:17:24,068 --> 00:17:25,206 - Ah! 462 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,586 - Ah... 463 00:17:32,206 --> 00:17:33,862 Huh? 464 00:17:33,931 --> 00:17:35,034 - Ah! 465 00:17:35,103 --> 00:17:37,482 - Huh? [gasps] 466 00:17:37,551 --> 00:17:39,068 - [laughs] 467 00:17:39,137 --> 00:17:40,724 [grunting] 468 00:17:40,793 --> 00:17:43,344 - Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself. 469 00:17:43,413 --> 00:17:45,034 Why are you hitting yourself? 470 00:17:45,103 --> 00:17:46,517 Why are you still hitting yourself? 471 00:17:46,586 --> 00:17:47,620 - Ah! 472 00:17:47,689 --> 00:17:50,586 [both grunting] 473 00:17:54,896 --> 00:17:56,793 Huh? - Hmm. 474 00:17:56,862 --> 00:18:00,724 - [cackling] 475 00:18:00,793 --> 00:18:02,862 Ah... 476 00:18:02,931 --> 00:18:04,344 [both grunt] 477 00:18:04,413 --> 00:18:07,068 - Uh. Uh... [chuckles] 478 00:18:07,137 --> 00:18:08,931 [grunts] 479 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:12,482 - I'm going to crush your head. 480 00:18:12,551 --> 00:18:14,862 - Hey, numbskull. - Huh? 481 00:18:14,931 --> 00:18:16,379 - [grunts] 482 00:18:18,482 --> 00:18:20,689 It's time for you to head out. 483 00:18:20,758 --> 00:18:22,724 - No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Wait, wait! 484 00:18:22,793 --> 00:18:24,965 No! 485 00:18:25,034 --> 00:18:26,724 - Ah. 486 00:18:26,793 --> 00:18:30,448 - Uh. Uh. Bleh. 487 00:18:30,517 --> 00:18:33,413 Wow. You are amazing. 488 00:18:33,482 --> 00:18:35,413 - Yeah, I get that a lot. 489 00:18:35,482 --> 00:18:37,413 - You know, I helped by smashing that guy 490 00:18:37,482 --> 00:18:38,896 over his head with my lute. 491 00:18:38,965 --> 00:18:40,172 - I didn't need your help. 492 00:18:40,241 --> 00:18:43,000 In fact, you sort of interrupted my flow. 493 00:18:43,068 --> 00:18:44,137 - Your flow? 494 00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:45,482 - My battle rhythm was thrown 495 00:18:45,551 --> 00:18:47,068 by your sloppy technique. - Huh. 496 00:18:47,137 --> 00:18:49,034 - Fighting's not for you. Stick with your songs. 497 00:18:49,103 --> 00:18:50,413 - Oh, yeah, I plan to! 498 00:18:50,482 --> 00:18:52,689 In fact, I have-- - Hold that thought. 499 00:18:52,758 --> 00:18:55,586 I will quest to the castle of Horus Scrum. 500 00:18:55,655 --> 00:18:57,965 - That is literally what I came here to accomplish. 501 00:18:58,034 --> 00:19:00,448 - The wizard will regret sending such weaklings 502 00:19:00,517 --> 00:19:01,827 to retrieve me. 503 00:19:01,896 --> 00:19:04,068 When I defeat him, the only fortune telling 504 00:19:04,137 --> 00:19:05,758 he will do is to foresee me 505 00:19:05,827 --> 00:19:10,241 tearing up his beard and using it as my bath mat! 506 00:19:10,310 --> 00:19:13,241 [patrons cheering] 507 00:19:13,310 --> 00:19:14,862 - We really respond to violence! 508 00:19:14,931 --> 00:19:16,620 - Well, I'm glad we established that 509 00:19:16,689 --> 00:19:18,931 before anything drastic went down. 510 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:21,448 [stirring music] 511 00:19:21,517 --> 00:19:23,310 - Oh! Hey, wait, stop! 512 00:19:23,379 --> 00:19:26,206 Look. I think you're my destiny. 513 00:19:26,275 --> 00:19:27,586 - Ugh. 514 00:19:27,655 --> 00:19:30,172 Even for a troll, that's a terrible pickup line. 515 00:19:30,241 --> 00:19:32,172 - What? No. 516 00:19:32,241 --> 00:19:33,793 That's not what I was trying to do. 517 00:19:33,862 --> 00:19:36,551 I need to learn all the things you seem really good at. 518 00:19:36,620 --> 00:19:38,517 Like living a life of danger. 519 00:19:38,586 --> 00:19:40,103 - You are living dangerously. 520 00:19:40,172 --> 00:19:41,275 Stop following me. 521 00:19:41,344 --> 00:19:42,413 - No! 522 00:19:42,482 --> 00:19:43,586 My music is terrible, 523 00:19:43,655 --> 00:19:45,206 and the only way to make it better 524 00:19:45,275 --> 00:19:47,000 is to quest with you. 525 00:19:47,068 --> 00:19:49,103 - You think you know me? 526 00:19:49,172 --> 00:19:50,517 You will never know me 527 00:19:50,586 --> 00:19:52,862 or my absurdly complex backstory. 528 00:19:52,931 --> 00:19:55,068 Go back to your songs and your bridges 529 00:19:55,137 --> 00:19:58,827 or whatever life of comfort you led before you met me. 530 00:19:58,896 --> 00:20:00,275 Troll. 531 00:20:00,344 --> 00:20:01,724 - Um. 532 00:20:01,793 --> 00:20:03,068 [grunts] 533 00:20:03,137 --> 00:20:04,655 I can't. 534 00:20:04,724 --> 00:20:06,931 I literally burned my bridge to the ground. 535 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:08,724 It--it's too late. 536 00:20:08,793 --> 00:20:10,482 - You burned your bridge to the ground? 537 00:20:10,551 --> 00:20:12,620 - Mm-hmm. - That is funny. 538 00:20:12,689 --> 00:20:13,965 [gentle flute music] 539 00:20:14,034 --> 00:20:15,000 - Well, hey, look. 540 00:20:15,068 --> 00:20:16,551 If you let me quest with you, 541 00:20:16,620 --> 00:20:19,103 I will write songs about your exploits. 542 00:20:19,172 --> 00:20:20,896 Infectious, hummable songs 543 00:20:20,965 --> 00:20:23,241 that will pass from village to village. 544 00:20:23,310 --> 00:20:25,793 In fact, every tavern in Gothmoria 545 00:20:25,862 --> 00:20:28,931 will sing the ballad of Brendar the Barbarian! 546 00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:30,448 [dramatic music] 547 00:20:30,517 --> 00:20:32,551 - Can you work the term "feared and revered" 548 00:20:32,620 --> 00:20:34,310 into the songs of which you speak? 549 00:20:34,379 --> 00:20:35,862 - Yeah, put your catchphrase in? 550 00:20:35,931 --> 00:20:37,965 Done. - It's really more of a slogan. 551 00:20:38,034 --> 00:20:39,793 - Uh, still. Not a problem. 552 00:20:39,862 --> 00:20:41,965 - Then join me, frail troll. - Ah! 553 00:20:42,034 --> 00:20:43,793 - Risk your life along mine 554 00:20:43,862 --> 00:20:46,137 as we quest towards an uncertain future 555 00:20:46,206 --> 00:20:47,344 filled with danger... - Ha-ha! 556 00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:48,379 - Risk... - Yeah! 557 00:20:48,448 --> 00:20:49,827 - Probable death. - Ew. 558 00:20:49,896 --> 00:20:52,379 - And perhaps a few scattered victories. 559 00:20:52,448 --> 00:20:53,827 - Whoo-hoo-hoo! 560 00:20:53,896 --> 00:20:55,758 - But only if you agree to not blather on 561 00:20:55,827 --> 00:20:57,551 about how exciting everything is. 562 00:20:57,620 --> 00:20:59,551 - Mm, okay, sure. [chuckles] 563 00:20:59,620 --> 00:21:01,517 Oh, boy. My first quest. 564 00:21:01,586 --> 00:21:03,000 This is so ex-- 565 00:21:04,793 --> 00:21:07,034 --tremely... [clears throat] 566 00:21:07,103 --> 00:21:10,137 Regular and, uh, not special for me at all. 567 00:21:10,206 --> 00:21:11,689 - This is already a mistake. 568 00:21:11,758 --> 00:21:12,586 - Wha? 569 00:21:12,655 --> 00:21:16,103 [uplifting music] 570 00:21:16,172 --> 00:21:17,724 ♪ I heard a journey starts ♪ 571 00:21:17,793 --> 00:21:19,689 ♪ When you go somewhere ♪ 572 00:21:19,758 --> 00:21:22,517 ♪ I need a journey ♪ 573 00:21:22,586 --> 00:21:26,068 ♪ And maybe this journey needs me ♪ 574 00:21:26,137 --> 00:21:28,448 ♪ And maybe this intimidating barbarian ♪ 575 00:21:28,517 --> 00:21:30,103 ♪ With the impossibly complex backstory ♪ 576 00:21:30,172 --> 00:21:32,034 ♪ Needs me ♪ 577 00:21:32,103 --> 00:21:34,586 ♪ And maybe I'll find the song ♪ 578 00:21:34,655 --> 00:21:37,241 ♪ That I'm meant to sing! ♪ 579 00:21:37,310 --> 00:21:39,724 ♪ ♪ 580 00:21:40,758 --> 00:21:42,034 Brendar? 581 00:21:42,103 --> 00:21:44,310 Where--hey, wait up. 582 00:21:44,379 --> 00:21:45,620 Where'd she go? 583 00:21:46,517 --> 00:21:47,827 [ominous music] 584 00:21:47,896 --> 00:21:52,103 - You have not seen the last of me, barbarian. 585 00:21:52,172 --> 00:21:54,034 I'll get you. 586 00:21:54,103 --> 00:21:56,103 And your peppy goblin too! 587 00:21:56,172 --> 00:21:57,068 [crow caws] 588 00:21:59,344 --> 00:22:02,034 Well, this is unfortunate. 589 00:22:02,103 --> 00:22:05,000 [blowing air] 590 00:22:06,896 --> 00:22:09,034 Shoo! Shoo! 591 00:22:14,034 --> 00:22:20,965 ♪ ♪ 592 00:22:21,015 --> 00:22:25,565 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0